They

I have discovered the most powerful group in the world. It is “they”. You know, “they” say… No other group has the power to influence opinion than “they”. “They” has discovered causes and cures for cancer; solutions to global warming; well, actually, “they” has taken on just about every current problem known. And, it has me thinking…who is “they?”

Well, here it is. “They” does not exist.

Flight Attendants are notorious for sharing bits of wisdom derived from the imaginary group “they.” Take your standard jumpseat (that’s where we sit) conversation for example: “I was talking to this one flight attendant who said that ‘they’ said that ‘they‘ were gonna close all of the west coast flight attendant bases…it’s true, that’s what ‘they‘ said. And then you know, ‘they‘ say that you really shouldn’t drink beverages out of a can because, you know, the aluminum will kill you. So, I’m gonna stop drinking Coke. ‘They‘ are always doing this to me, you know…”

Actually, I don’t know. Sometimes, I just feel like saying, “What are you talking about?”

“They” is simply who we attribute an out of control rumor to when we no longer even remember who started it. And, I hate rumors. But, not for the reason you might think. I don’t mind people talking about something behind your back; or, about something to which they aren’t really even connected. That’s just gonna happen. Kathy Griffin puts it this way when someone suggests that you “say it to her face”: “Um…I’d rather not. I’d rather wait until you leave the room. My mother raised me right. It’s called manners.“

I don’t like rumors; because, rumors usually contain bad information. And, if I am going to give up an essential part of my diet, like caffeine, I want it to be for a real reason. Not because “they” said so.