tyflyguy

I’m Baaaack! Were you expecting me?

Posted on January 7, 2009 | 4 comments

For those of you who actually check my blog with any regularity, I apologize. For the rest of you who didn’t even realize I was gone, shame on you! I decided in November to take a “little” blogging break. It all stemmed from the old adage, if you have nothing good to say, then it’s better to say nothing at all. Or something like that.

I felt that my blog was slipping into a downward spiral: final destination, Rant City. It’s not my favorite place to be. In fact, personally, I don’t read blogs that tend to be negative and “ranty.” So I don’t want mine to be that way either. Don’t worry, I’m not going all Rainbow Brite and Care bears on you. I just needed to restart my mental computer because my screen was frozen on one item, Prop. 8. (hisssssss)

So, I’m back. I am actually sitting in “my office,” which I haven’t done for 2 months either. It feels good. And it’s just like I left it. The quiet hippie dude with dreads and his partner still insist on sitting at my table, even though there are at least 4 other empty tables. Hasam, my caffeine dealer, is still outside smoking and talking on his phone. The crossword puzzle guy is still firmly planted in his regular seat. The non-regulars continue to walk in and leave the door open behind them, even though it’s 49 degrees outside and the door was shut when they walked up to it. Burt, the over-sized electric-wheelchair man just made his grand entrance and knocked over a few chairs along the way.

I’m not sure why I take comfort in the predictability of this place, but I do. It’s consistent. I think it’s all about expectations. I like to know what to expect. Or maybe more appropriately, I like to expect the right thing. When your expectations are in line with what is likely to happen, then you are not disappointed by the outcome. Maybe this is about disappointment, that should be the theme of this post. Anyway, I try to have realistic expectations. That probably says a lot about me, but I am going to resist the temptation of self-diagnosing my own psychological issues today. I expect that will make me happier.

Ooo, I do love to self-diagnose. My doctor is not so thrilled about my gift of self-diagnosis, especially with the advent of Web-MD. I just find it interesting. I like to know why my doctor has made a certain diagnoses. So I over-ask. In all reality curiosity isn’t a horrible trait. It’s a hereditary disorder that I get from my mother. She was the queen of doctor interrogations. During her battle with cancer, I was able to go to one of her doctor appointments. I witnessed it first hand. She wanted to know what ever blood cell count meant, what every MRI was for, the purpose of every pill. She was übercurious. So, maybe this post is about curiosity.

Whatever the fuck this post is actually about, one thing is for certain. You can expect more mind-wandering, unfocused posts this year. Well, I might have a point to some of them. Either way, here’s to another so-so year (I’m just being realistic 😉 ). Oh, what the hell, I’m gonna throw caution to the wind. Here’s to another great year! Maybe it’s time to raise my expectations.

4 Comments

Posted in Food for Thought

A semi-final word…

Posted on November 14, 2008 | 8 comments

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have an announcement to make. I am in a relationship. It’s something really special. No, we didn’t make a mad rush to the courthouse to get married before election day. But despite the devastating outcome of California’s Prop. 8 (same-sex marriage ban), my relationship is still valid. I guarantee it is real. I’m not just pretending. Jeff is a real, live person. He and I have been together for over three years. He is a man and I am a man. We are a couple. No amendment to the state constitution can change that.

I first came out about 10 years ago. I came out to friends and family about 8 years ago. Yet, after all this time, I am amazed at how many people still don’t take it seriously. Folks, I’m gay. Sure, I went to Bible College and even “dated” a few girls, but, let me be clear: I am gay.

In reflecting over the last 16 years since I went to college, I felt like many of my friends from that time deserved to know what happened with me. After all, I spent a lot of time in college lying to myself and to them. We all deserved some honesty. Why did I leave the Church? How could I be gay? Over the last several years, I have spent a lot of time explaining myself to my friends from Bible College. For the few that actually read this blog, let me say: I’m moving on. No more apologies for past lies. No more sugar-coating things to make you more comfortable. With the passing of Prop. 8, I’m officially done. I tried to do the right thing and apologize for any hurt I may have caused. I’ve realized that you cannot always trust people to do the right thing. Now, hopefully we can trust the court system to protect us.

I realize that very few of my college friends actually live in California and couldn’t even vote on the proposition. But, many have made their feelings clear anyway. They don’t want equality. They don’t even want to validate gay relationships. They do this every time they call Jeff my “friend,” every time they suggest that I “date Jesus.” Whenever someone whispers “gay” as if it’s an inappropriate or dirty word only to say it loud and clear when they are using it to mean “stupid” or “dumb,” that is offensive.

Please understand that we will eventually have the right to marry. One day it will be considered completely normal for some people to be gay and society will not force that same part of the population to make unrealistic and devastating decisions about their sexuality at such a young age. I hope that when it happens and you feel for the 1,000th time that this country is falling apart; I hope that you remember you contributed to those struggles. I hope that you look up and see your weapon of choice, the Bible, aimed aggressively at me. Maybe then you’ll realize that you can’t make everyone see the world as you do.

Actually, I’m not asking for your acceptance or support. You don’t even need to agree with my beliefs. I’m just asking for you to cease fire. Stop attacking in the name of God, country, and, family. I can’t think of anything that would be more productive to your cause.

I should mention that some of the most supportive and loving people that I know are friends from Bible College. I am so thankful for those few. You right the wrongs with your love and kindness toward the gay community. Thank you.

Please take 6 and 1/2 minutes and watch Keith Olbermann’s eloquent, passionate, and powerful commentary on the passing of Prop. 8.

8 Comments

Posted in Current Events, Family, Food for Thought, Gay, Politics, Rants, Video

My Plea

Posted on October 27, 2008 | 5 comments

Alright folks. I’ve been a well-behaved blogger this past month. I haven’t wanted to get all political on you. There, quite frankly, is more than enough of that already, everywhere. If you want to read about the presidential campaign, you could go to just about any website. And chances are, there is nothing that I could really say that would get you to change your mind. But, this is my blog and so I’ll write what I think. And, I have to say at least something about the election.

Please don’t vote for John McCain and Sarah Palin.

Seriously. Don’t do it. If you are doing it because you think that Obama is a Muslim, first of all, shame on you, why would that matter? Second of all, um, get a clue, because he has repeatedly said that he is not. If you are voting for McCain because he is white and Obama is half-black, again, shame on you, why does that matter? If you are voting for McCain because you are uncomfortable with the name “Barack Obama,” I have this to say, shame on you, really? If you are going to vote for John McCain, I can’t stop you. You need to vote for the candidate who best represents how you feel on the issues. But I can say this: Please don’t do it. If you are unhappy with the direction George W. Bush has taken this country, please don’t do it. We deserve better as a country. The world deserves better from us.

Please vote for Barack Obama and Joe Biden.

Barack Obama is better for the economy.
Barack Obama is better for the future of this country.
Barack Obama is better for the equality of all people.

That about sums it up for me. I’ve said it, and now I’m done. I’ll be back to business as usual after I say one more thing to all Californians…

Please vote NO on Prop. 8.

For Californians, Proposition 8 proposes to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. We currently enjoy this right. The state has not fallen into the ocean since marriage became legal for gays and lesbians. God did not send wrath upon the state of California. Please. Regardless of your beliefs about marriage, everyone should have the right to marry. It is wrong to say that two people do not deserve to get married because they are the same sex. Equality, folks. Gays and Lesbians getting married does not give marriage any less value. It does not tear a family apart. It allows a family to be validated. Please vote NO on Prop. 8.

Well, that’s it. That’s all your going to get out of me this election season. I had to say something. Remember to vote on November 4.

5 Comments

Posted in Current Events, Family, Politics

Focus Folks, Focus.

Posted on October 20, 2008 | 3 comments

I know, I know. Two posts ago I said we should all leave our electronics off now and then. Well, the article was more about properly using them. Know when to say when. I fully support texting. I do it often. I am just curious about the language people use when they text. So, I thought that I’d write a post in all text lingo. I had to use a translator (seriously) to accomplish this. I found out that it’s not as difficult as I originally thought; there are just a couple of rules you must follow.

1) Use all caps.

2) Overuse the exclamation mark, in fact, only use the exclamation mark for punctuating!

3) In general, mistype.

4) Overuse the abbreviations WTF, OMG, LOL.

5) LOL. Type phonetically–well, sort of.

Here is what the translator produced:

SO I D3CIEDD 2 WRIET A POST IN TEXT LNGO!!!!!! AFTER AL Y NOT!!!!! MAH 13 YAAR-OLD NEICA TYP3S THES WAY!1!!1!11 OMG Y SHUDNT I!!!! WTF LOL I CANT TAKE AL DA CR3D THOUGH!!11111 WTF I ACTUALY HAD 2 UES THE ANGLISH-2-12-OLD-AOLER TRANSLA2R 2 ACOMPLISH IT!1!111!! OMG WTF LOL I GU3S TEH KAY IS 2 NOT UES ANY PUNCTUATION 3XCEPT FOR LOTS OF AXCLMATION MARKS!1!11!!1! OMG WTF LOL ALSO ITS ESENTIAL 2 UES AS MANY WTFS AND LOLS AS POSIBLE!11!11!!! WTF LOL

My original idea was to actually write the entire post in text lingo. It became clear immediately that this was going to induce either rage or seizures, one of the two, so I had to stop. I think my point is rather clear in the one paragraph I was able to compose in text lingo. I mean, seriously, WTF!?!

The origins of text lingo can be found in phones that pre-date itapen or t9. I’ve read several articles written by linguists that suggest it dates even further back to the days of Morse Code. It took several key punches of varying lengths to get a single letter. You probably can remember having to hit the #7 button 4 times to get an “s.” So, you needed to find ways to abbreviate and choose your words wisely. Interestingly, now that most phones have this feature, or better yet, now that there are phones with full keyboards, people still use these same words. My 13 year-old niece types her emails in a similar, yet different, way–she uses no caps and no punctuation.

I realize that I am a self-diagnosed “over-punctuater.” I love the comma. And, the semi-colon. Oooo, and the tilde (~) that’s my favorite! It really doesn’t have much use in regular language, but I just think it’s pretty, so I use it. It’s a personal style choice. I mostly use it in place of a comma in the greeting of an email. Nonetheless, you can imagine that the lack of punctuation in texting sends me into a tizzy. That and the use of all-caps. IT’S LIKE I’M BEING YELLED AT!!!1!!11!

Argh.

I think my original point wasn’t even supposed to be about the actual texts. I got distracted. It’s about the act of texting. It’s dangerous. This past July in California it became illegal to talk on your cell phone and drive. You have to wear a headset. Initially, they didn’t add texting to the law, although as of this month, that has now been corrected. People were actually texting instead of talking on the phone while they drove, as if it was safer.

It’s insane, really–texting and driving, texting and walking, texting and (insert your activity of choice). It seems obvious to say, but, I’ll say it anyway. You can’t see what you’re doing when you are texting. I don’t care how proficient your thumbs are. I don’t know anyone that can type a complete text message without looking at their screen. Not to mention that you sort of need your hands for driving…both of them. It’s called 10 and 2, folks, remember?

I have certain friends, you know who you are, who refuse to use their voice. I will call them and leave a voice message only to receive a reply in the form of a text seconds later. Really? Use your voices, folks. I know that this all makes me sound like a curmudgeon. I am by no means against technology or texting. I just got the iPhone and one of my favorite features is the texting. But, I use sentences and punctuation. It’s just important to know when to use it.

Well, this is the conclusion of another rather unfocused post. I guess that sums up how I’m feeling this week–unfocused and a little scatter-brained, frankly. Which really does happen to be the point of this semi-rant. Focus. For all the advancements in electronics have brought us, it has made it more difficult to focus on the task at hand. And that’s because we usually have several tasks at hand at all times. Even our leisure has gotten complex. I almost always have my laptop running while I’m watching TV. But, that’s another subject and my brain hurts.

3 Comments

Posted in Food for Thought, iPhone, Rants

Top-Notch Journalism

Posted on October 13, 2008 | 3 comments

I guess I’ve been taking a bit of a blogging break. When I start to feel a little too “ranty,” I like to step back and take stock. I also like to take time and review what I’ve written so far. So I use the time that I would normally write and I read my blog as well as other blogs. It’s a great process and a lot of fun for me, but I’m ready to get back to writing new posts.

After all, I’m a creative person. I sometimes forget that. Nothing kills my creative energy quite like spending 11 hours on an airplane. It’s kind of strange, but I don’t think most of my California friends really see me that way–that is, as a creative person. They see me as Tyler, the flight attendant, or Tyler, Jeff’s boyfriend. I guess that’s why this blog is so important to me. It’s my creative outlet.

This blog isn’t my first attempt at writing, though. When I was a senior in high school I was the editor of my high school paper. Well, at least I was editor until I was fired. That’s right, I was fired from my very first and only writing job. I still, 16 years later, take pride in getting fired as editor-in-chief of the Trojan Trib. The 17-year-old Tyler was a much more dramatic version of me. And, in a moment of pissy anger, I called the newspaper teacher an “ass.” Actually, I told her not to “assume” because she’d make an “a–s–s out of u and me.” I was really quite impressed with myself at the time. I like to envision myself as a sort of Julia Sugarbaker (from Designing Women). I think I got my point across.

I don’t remember what it was that she was assuming, but I sure as hell was tired of it. So I walked to the principal’s office with great pride. It was the only time I ever was actually sent to the office. My mother worked at the high school and so I knew the people in the office very well. They were surprised by my non-social visit. Anyway, to get to the point, I was “let go” from my editor position, and demoted to “staff writer.”

As staff writer I channeled all of my untapped editorial energy into creating incredibly thought provoking exposés. I uncovered the secret evil and corruption of the student hall monitoring system. I exposed the inner-workings of the Pleasantville High School Drama Club, of which I was a member and the newspaper teacher was also the sponsor. What can I say? It was a small school. And, perhaps my journalism was not completely “unbiased.” I gave it my best shot.

I recently discovered that my predecessor as Trojan Trib editor-in-chief went on to work for the Wall Street Journal. Wow. I suppose he never spelled out “ass” to any of his superiors. And, I hope he regrets it.

3 Comments

Posted in My Life, The Early Years