Category Archives: Video

Bible Beatings a Growing Trend…

I’m not proud to admit this. Or, maybe I should be. I love Mandy Moore. The new Mandy Moore…of course. I think that her latest album Wild Hope is actually pretty good. She seems to be maturing and separating herself from the era of overly blonde teen pop-stars that we were forced to endure in the late 90’s and early 00’s. I watched a short documentary on her that was actually pretty interesting. She cusses like a sailor (which you gotta love) and enjoys poking fun at herself–especially that ridiculous song Candy. Just in case you forgot how bad the song was, here is a clip from VH1’s Pop Up Video

So, anyway, you get my point. Mandy has not typically been known for her great music. Or, for her great movie roles… I must admit, though, that I loved the movie Saved. She plays the “popular kid” at a Christian High School. This movie is actually a parody of Christian High Schools. To me, it is one of the funniest movies I’ve seen for a while. My favorite scene is when Mandy’s character tries to “save” a girl who has “lost her way.” FYI, she “lost her way” by having sex with her gay boyfriend in order to try to save him. The scene is soooooo funny.

It to mind this morning while I was reading the paper. Evidently, a prison guard was charged with battery for attacking an inmate with a Bible. I guess he was “full of Christ’s love” as Mandy’s character says. I just love this shit. 😉

Meet My Children

The blog info in this video is outdated…please ignore the .blogspot address.

That damn crack.

On the street where I live, there lies a crack. It’s actually two separate slabs of concrete that are being pushed apart by tree roots–one higher, one lower. But, I call it a crack.

And, I trip on that same damn crack every time I walk up the street. That damn crack has found me during phone conversations; while sipping coffee; while listening to my Ipod; while rolling my “granny cart” to the laundry mat; while simply walking with Jeff. And, it’s worth mentioning that I don’t just trip over this crack. I massively stumble over it, dropping my phone; spilling my coffee; causing my Ipod to skip; tipping over my “granny cart;” inducing giggles and mock “trips” from Jeff.

Those who know me know that I am prone to such clumsy episodes. I find it amazing that I can balance a tray of 14 drinks on one arm. Not only that, but, I can do that during turbulence, and while dodging peoples’ feet, and children squeezing past me in the aisle of the airplane. But, I can’t seem to manage walking up the street–the same street I have walked up hundreds of times–without stumbling on that same damn crack. You’d think I’d learn my lesson.

We as humans have a long history of not learning from our mistakes. We repeatedly make the same mistakes over and over and over. We continue to pollute in the same ways, even though we know what it does. We continue to spread hate even though we have seen what hate can do. And, we continue to think that “it” will never have to us, even though almost everyone that “it” has happened to also thought that same thing–whatever “it” is.

The problem is that we as humans have an amazingly short memory. I really have no other explanation as to why I can repeatedly trip over the same crack. The good news is that no notable harm has been done. Which may have something to do with why I don’t remember that crack before I trip on it.

Is that the solution? Do we have to be really hurt before we learn our lesson? As soon as I typed that, my mind began racing through illustrations of how people only learned a lesson once they were hurt or caused irreparable harm to something or someone. But, ever the optimist, I refuse to believe it.

I have to believe that I want to learn and grow; because, I want to be a better me; not because, I have no other choice. So here’s to growth–may we be best “we” that we can be!

Oh yeah, and if you see a blonde heap on the ground, covered in laundry and coffee with electronic devices scattered about…just keep walking and know that lessons are slowly being learned.
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Here’s video of Miss USA at the Miss Universe Pageant. I love the fact that, after she trips, she has this look on her face that says, “Yeah, I’m hot and I tripped…jealous?”

wacka-chicka, wacka-chicka, wacka-chicka…

By now, surely, you must have noticed my attraction to pop culture. I love all things TV, movie, music, and especially internet. So, it should come as no surprise that I love Oprah. I love all her pretention. I love the fact that everything she touches turns to gold. Wouldn’t that be a great ability to have? Whatever books you like, everyone else will buy and like. Even if they are crap. I mean she’s like the closest thing to a modern day Jesus that we have–although, I don’t think she has walked on water … yet.

My favorite things about Oprah are her AHA! moments. These are moments when you realize some great truth that changes your life. What a great concept.

But, (Sorry, O.)I have a better idea. Since, I personally enjoy living in “la la” land–a delusional world of situations that aren’t real–I have lots of moments that are the total opposite of an AHA! moment. Moments that I ignore the “great truths” that could change my life. Like, when I am at work and someone “looks” at me in a sexy kind of way. I create this whole idea that they are flirting with me. I start to swagger down the aisle and ask them, “would you like coffee…tea…me?”

(cue the music and lights)
wacka-chicka, wacka-chicka, wacka-chicka…

Maybe, I’ve watched too much porn (speaking of things that aren’t real). But, when I create a situation that isn’t real–I call it a “wacka-chicka” moment. You know…from the cheesy music the play in porn. For instance, when I used to live in Phoenix, I had a pool in my backyard. Once a week, the “pool boy” would come and walk around the pool and pretend to clean it. That part is real. However, I had a major wacka-chicka moment everytime he came. You probably can see where this is going. If things aren’t happening in real life, sometimes you just have to create them in your head.
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I know that we all do this. We see things that aren’t there. I have shared one of my wacka-chicka moments. Now, it’s your turn. COME ON, leave me a comment about one your wackiest wacka-chicka moments…
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Here’s a funny Pablo Francisco video about porn music…