Category Archives: Rants

They

I have discovered the most powerful group in the world. It is “they”. You know, “they” say… No other group has the power to influence opinion than “they”. “They” has discovered causes and cures for cancer; solutions to global warming; well, actually, “they” has taken on just about every current problem known. And, it has me thinking…who is “they?”

Well, here it is. “They” does not exist.

Flight Attendants are notorious for sharing bits of wisdom derived from the imaginary group “they.” Take your standard jumpseat (that’s where we sit) conversation for example: “I was talking to this one flight attendant who said that ‘they’ said that ‘they‘ were gonna close all of the west coast flight attendant bases…it’s true, that’s what ‘they‘ said. And then you know, ‘they‘ say that you really shouldn’t drink beverages out of a can because, you know, the aluminum will kill you. So, I’m gonna stop drinking Coke. ‘They‘ are always doing this to me, you know…”

Actually, I don’t know. Sometimes, I just feel like saying, “What are you talking about?”

They” is simply who we attribute an out of control rumor to when we no longer even remember who started it. And, I hate rumors. But, not for the reason you might think. I don’t mind people talking about something behind your back; or, about something to which they aren’t really even connected. That’s just gonna happen. Kathy Griffin puts it this way when someone suggests that you “say it to her face”: “Um…I’d rather not. I’d rather wait until you leave the room. My mother raised me right. It’s called manners.

I don’t like rumors; because, rumors usually contain bad information. And, if I am going to give up an essential part of my diet, like caffeine, I want it to be for a real reason. Not because “they” said so.

A Serious Problem

There is a serious problem that is sweeping across the nation: People are talking on their cell phones while on the toilet in public bathrooms. It’s an epidemic. I know that with this blog I am moving into the world of ranting. But, I raved last week, so I have to even things out. I don’t want to seem too positive.

So, I have given in to the fact that people are always on their cell phones. And, in all sorts of inappropriate places. Not too long ago, I listened to a girl on the bus break up with someone on her cell phone. On the AirBart bus, I consistently have to listen to business people taking care of business on their cell phones. I live on a busy street and can hear everything that happens on the sidewalk in front of my place. One night at about 2 am, I was awakened to a guy telling someone about all the things that he could do…sexually.

I can handle all of those things. It’s an intrusion; but, I’ve just decided to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. But, I have to draw the line. It’s one thing if someone wants to talk on the phone at home while sitting on the toilet, but, if there is any place where a person should be able to have a moment of privacy–it is while they are going to the bathroom.

Here is part of a conversation I overheard not too long ago while in the bathroom:
(Please pardon the sound effects, I think it gets my point across.)

“Hey, Honey…” (ppffffffttt)
“No I’m not busy…” (ppffffffttt)
“Oh, baby that’s great!” (ppfffffffttt)
“Oh, that’s just cars going by…” (ppffffffttt)
“No, No…you’re not interrupting…” (rrrrrgggggpppffffftt)
“Okay, bye, love you.” (flush)

I have just one thing to say to those who choose to use their phones at the most inopportune times: VOICEMAIL.

God, I feel much better now.