My Furny Varentime

Not too long ago I was walking down the street and just happened to pass this new Siberian jewelry store having its grand opening weekend. The store itself is probably about 10 feet by 10 feet. Tiny. And, some of the most gaudy jewelry you’ll ever see. It fits perfect in the Castro.

This, however, wasn’t the interesting part of the store. You see, in honor of their grand opening, the Siberian Jewelry Store of the Castro placed a lady in the doorway with a portable Casio keyboard. She was plunking out the tunes while singing the standards in a fairly thick Chinese accent.

Ok, so I should probably take minute to explain that I am just relaying what I saw here. My poor attempt to recreate the scene that she was causing is purely for “informational” purposes. I am not blatantly trying to be racist.

Here’s pretty close to how it went…

“My furny varentime
Sweet colmic varentime
You make me smire wit my healt
Youl rooks all raughabur
Unphotoglaphabur
Yet youl my favoulite wolk of alt…”

I probably should be ashamed to admit that I laughed for probably at least the next 3 blocks. And I wasn’t alone! Everyone who walked by and saw her could not help themselves. She was so sincere in her singing. Bless her heart. The combination of the gaudy jewelery, cheap electronic keyboard, and Chinese accent was too much for anyone to handle.

I don’t know–maybe you just had to be there…

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