I’ve got something to say. I’m sure of it. I’ve learned to avoid saying something because I didn’t think I had anything to say that was different or special or would make people laugh or feel anything in particular. But I’ve decided that I have something to say. Now, I guess that I just have to figure out what it is…
I suppose that it is this idea of having to stand out in the world. Having to be unique. Having to be different. This need for individuality. But I have decided that it doesn’t matter if I am unique or different. I am just me. And I have a perspective. And some great stories. It’s time that I start sharing.
I am selfish in this desire to share. It primarily is about me expressing myself. Somehow, over the past 15 years I have lost the drive to express. It may have something to do with going to a religious college that not only discouraged expression, but, made it seem sinful. Or working in a profession that requires uniformity and allows you to detach so easily.
When I was in high school, I used to write a column for the newspaper. It was all about my perspective on high school life. I’m going to tap into that old self and just write.
OK, so back to this elusive idea of individuality. Are any of us really, truly individuals? Can any of us actually say that we are unique? Clearly, even those who would consider themselves nonconformists are conforming in their nonconformity. And, anyone who would be considered as a “one of a kind” is still just part of a million other “one of a kind”‘s.
And why do we feel this need to be different? Is it because that if we are like everyone else, then, we think we have no self worth? Or, that if we have nothing new or original to say, then, we won’t leave our mark on the world?
I think that maybe the way we leave our mark on the world is simply by being a part of the whole. None of us is truly an individual because none of us is truly alone here. We all share the same space and air. We all contribute to life just by being here. Everything we say or do has an affect on those around you and in some manner your community. Which is what makes each of us individuals. We individually are part of a much larger whole. And the pressure to stand out in that huge ocean of people is overwhelming.
So, I that is why I’m just going to be me. And that’s enough.
And just what college was that? 🙂
Yeah…a friend of mine went to OCC several years before I did and Tasci King, her husband, and most of the music faculty laid hands on her and performed an exorcism. It was insanely powerful–20 years later it’s still driving people away from organized religion.
I had SO much fun with you in college…despite Kim thinking I was a bad influence on you and wanting to protect you. Did I turn you gay? 🙂