tyflyguy

A Sentimental Day

Posted on September 3, 2008 | 4 comments

My, My how times have changed over the last decade. I’ve been feeling extremely sentimental lately. It’s been 10 years since my mother passed, 10 years since I graduated from college, 10 years since I left the midwest, 10 years since my life took the dramatic turn that has led me to where I am today.

Frankly, in retrospect, I find it amazing that I am where I am. A secular gay man working in the airline industry and living in San Francisco. I still suffer from culture shock on occasion. Ten years ago I was just leaving the midwest after 6 years of Bible College. I was just starting an exciting job with an up-and-coming mega-church in Arizona. The job didn’t last long, and the next thing I knew I was working for my first airline. Then I started coming to terms with a life outside the Church. I realize that is a horrible summary of an extremely turbulent 1998. But, I don’t think I’m ready to broadcast all of that on my blog…nothing personal. Really, it’s me, not you.

The point of this post is not to elaborate on my journey from point A to point B. I’m just amazed at my starting point. I think that I’m mostly amazed that people change. More specifically, I changed. I mean, shit, I voted for Bob Dole in 1996. Ouch! Wow, that hurt to type those words. I. Voted. For. Bob. Dole. The only thing I have say in my defense is that I did not vote George W. Bush in 2000 or 2004. I remember sitting in my dormitory lobby gathered around the TV and feeling the immense dread of another 4 years with Bill Clinton. And now, I think that Bill Clinton was a great president! And that’s actually my point…I started thinking for myself.

I totally get why so many of my Bible College friends have a hard time understanding me these days. I’m not the same Tyler that they knew in college. There are parts of me that haven’t changed. I still love music, even some gospel music. I’m still just a little odd, a little geeky.

To be fair, it also freaks Jeff out a little bit to envision the Tyler from 1998. When I’m feeling a little bit ornery, I’ll whip into a rousing rendition of How Great Thou Art or Shout to the Lord. My friend Jaclyn likes to hear one my special prayers. You know the type that involves lots of thee’s and thou’s, blessing’s and tribulation’s. Oh yeah, I can preach, too. I reserve that for when I’m feeling just downright mean. And every time I pull from my personal experience in Bible College, I also have a moment of gratitude. I’m happy to be where I am now.

For old time’s sake, here’s a picture of me from my Bible-thumpin’ days. This was taken at my senior piano recital. I had no idea that my whole world was about to change…

4 Comments

Posted in Food for Thought, Gay, My Life, Pictures, The College Years

…from my iPhone

Posted on August 30, 2008 | 3 comments

“Hello, new friend…”

Well folks… I’ve jumped on the mobile bandwagon. I now can post from my iPhone. I’m highly excited about this! This mini-post is more of a test than anything else. So you can look forward to more mindless mini-posting on the fly…

3 Comments

Posted in iPhone

Christians

Posted on August 28, 2008 | 6 comments

I’m really going to go out on a limb here. Not one of those thick, sturdy limbs that can handle all of my 190 pounds, OK, fine “200” pounds…whatever. Jeez. Let’s not get nitpicky. This post is going to place me in a not-so-comfortable position. But I’m ready. I think.

Not all Christians are bad. OK, so the uncomfortable part is that I have a very diverse readership (Can you call 30 readers a “readership?”), and a good portion of them are Christians. And, they probably don’t appreciate the backhanded compliment. But, to those readers, the ones for whom I am always trying to soften my anti-religious sentiments, I apologize. I do like you. Most of you, anyway.

It’s been a rough road, leaving the Church. For those of you who are not Christians or religious, try to imagine removing a crucial part of your life–albeit one you’re ready to remove–and the void that remains. For me it was like removing a malignant tumor. It had to be removed in order for me to be healthy, but it created a huge empty space. And the surgery left a prominent scar that easily can be noticed when you talk to me. I work hard at applying a good cover-up. But, at least I can say that the wound is healing nicely.

Since I have left, I have tended to turn Christians into villains. These days I view myself as being pretty far to the left. So, it doesn’t take too much work to find a reason to dislike someone on the opposite side of the fence. Before the age of the internet (i.e. – Facebook, MySpace, Blogging) I would probably never have reconnected with any old Christian friends. I mean, I live in San Francisco and could pretty much segregate myself for the rest of my life here. But, that would be stupid. In order to truly move on in a healthy way, I have to work through it.

So, as a result, 42% of my Facebook friends are from my Bible College days. I’ve spent a lot of time rehashing the last 10 years with them. And, I have to say that I’ve been surprised by the response from most of my old friends. With a few exceptions, my old friends have been supportive. It hasn’t been all accusatory and hateful like I expected.

What got me thinking about all this was Don Miller. Up until 3 days ago, I had never heard of him. He gave the closing prayer at the Democratic National Convention on the first night. I pretty much blew him off. Then, my fellow blogger and twitterer Amy Storms (who may never talk to me again after this post), made note of him and I decided to check him out. He’s a Christian author who is supporting Barack Obama. I know that this really doesn’t tell you who he is, but I included a link on his name so you can check him out if you want. My point is–and it has only taken me six paragraphs to get to it–he represents a pleasantly unusual group of Christians that are going to vote for Barack Obama.

It really is more than that, though. I listened to several of his interviews online and found him to be extremely refreshing. He wants to be treated with respect, so he is treating us with respect. I’m not saying that we will see him marching down the street with a rainbow flag anytime soon, but this is one Christian that actually looks at the gay marriage debate through constitutional eyes, not religious eyes. And, the same with abortion. He calls any abortion a tragic decision, and wants to stop needless abortions, but, does not want to take away a woman’s right to choose. Granted, this last item is a summary of what I gathered online, so I hope I’m not overstating it.

So, finally, in conclusion, and I know you are ready for the “conclusion,” I’ve noticed this from other Christian friends. They are great people. I may not agree with their religious and spiritual belief systems, but, that does not mean that we can’t be friends and respect each other. There is more to a person than just their religious and spiritual beliefs. And it would be a shame to shut someone out solely based on those differences. So, since I can’t stand to be lumped into a stereotypical group of gay left-wing liberals (which I am), I’m going to be open minded about Christians. And, to those who continue to insult me because of my beliefs and my sexual orientation, for now I am going to turn the other cheek. Because, quoting Don Miller, “It’s the only way.” We will never be unified otherwise.

6 Comments

Posted in Current Events, Food for Thought, Politics

Gays on Parade

Posted on August 19, 2008 | Leave a comment

An article in the San Francisco Chronicle this morning was titled: Gawking Tourists Not Welcome in the Castro. I laughed out loud. I guess the days of priding ourselves on our differences are gone.

I do know exactly what the article was talking about, however. For months now, double-decker tourist buses have been driving through the heart of the Castro. And recently, they are actually letting the tourists out. There goes the neighborhood. I will admit it always makes me giggle a little when I’m dragging my laundry to the laundry mat or walking to the store and the bus roles by at about 10 miles an hour. I’m curious just how many pictures I’m in. I’d love to read the caption in their scrapbook. It might possibly read:

Here’s Henry and me… amongst the homosexuals.

-or-

Here’s a picture of one dragging his laundry along like a homeless person.

-or-

…and the homosexuals go grocery shopping, too!

I can almost picture Margaret and Henry sitting in a doily-filled living room showing off their scrapbook to friends.

According to the article, the real problem is that the tour bus companies have recently changed their route to allow for a 20-minute stop in the Castro. People are getting off the bus and moving about the Castro in groups of 30 or so intensely-afraid tourists. I have seen them. But, I think it’s great. If we want people to view the GLBT community as humans, real people, they need to see that we are just like everyone else. Right? Of course, not all communities have men dressed up as flamboyant nuns or hunky men dressed up as Jesus on Easter.

I’m just surprised that there is an uproar at all. After all, tourism is–ok, I’m sorry… side note here. As I was typing this at my café, a double-decker tour bus just rolled by full of gray-haired folks–anyway, tourism is San Francisco’s life blood. It has kept many of our businesses afloat.

I guess these days gays are trying so hard to be considered normal that they don’t want people to see their differences. With the vote on the same-sex marriage ban looming, many are afraid that if people think all we do is just run around in the nude having sex behind bushes, they won’t want to support our relationships. But, I think that if we have to sacrifice our culture, which is sexual, but actually much more, what have we gained? So, in that vein–gays on parade–I decided to share some of the footage I shot from this year’s San Francisco GLBT Pride Parade:

Flipping Out

Posted on August 13, 2008 | 1 comment

On the heels of my recent post concerning 30 days, I thought I’d visit the other side of the spectrum: Flipping Out. At its core, Flipping Out is a gratuitous offering of good old-fashioned OCD served up on an overflowing platter of stereotypical American pretentiousness. In other words, these people are cra-zy. It’s mostly Jeff Lewis who’s crazy, the primary subject of the show. Jeff Lewis is a real estate investor who “flips” houses–buys them, guts them, transforms them into “Jeff Lewis” homes and then resells them. I totally have a love/hate relationship with the show… and Jeff Lewis. The guy is flawed in a way that is endearing, hilarious and irritating.

No matter how awful the show tends to make me feel about the state of American society, I can’t take my eyes off of it. I’m completely addicted. Part of the addictiveness of the show can be attributed to the secondary cast of characters. Jenny, his assistant, is a witty and sarcastic woman–the type that everyone wants as a best friend. Zoila, his housekeeper, is a sweet woman who seems to be the only person who can put up with his OCD. They are both totally lovable.

Although the season just ended this past week, I started this post several weeks ago. I thought I’d still post this because Bravo replays its shows like 40 times a week. There’s a good chance you can still catch it. I realize that there’s also a good chance you have no desire to watch people behaving so badly. But, if you are anything like me, you won’t be able to help yourself. Just keep in mind that you might have to wash off afterward, and that you may briefly consider moving to Canada. Be warned.

1 Comment

Posted in Pop-Culture, TV